Support Group

I went to the support group last night. It was "Support Group for Bariatric Supporters" and I really wanted DH to come, but he was working. I know it's been quite a change for him and he gets so worked up sometimes trying to figure out healthier, more filling foods for me. He has absolutely been my #1 supporter. Only two women brought their husbands though, most people didn't know it was "supporters" night.

Anyway, the program coordinator finally put me on the spot and had me talk about what I've been going through, since I'm usually pretty quiet at the meetings. Not because I'm shy, but because the attendees all know each other so well that I generally can't get a word in edgewise. After the meeting, I regretted talking about my problems so far. I KNOW that everyone means well, but it was really frustrating sitting there while people who have no issues with volume (either bypass or well-established bandsters--I think I'm the only one at the group who doesn't eat less than before surgery) try to give me tips and tell me to go back to basics, follow the plan, blah blah. I do appreciate that people care so much, but it reminded me of why I don't go to the dietician: I KNOW what I'm supposed to be doing, I know HOW to eat healthy, but knowledge and practice don't always go hand-in-hand. There was only one suggestion during the whole fiasco that I hadn't already tried or didn't already know. I do continually go back to "basics" and try to be a good bandster, but when there's no restriction, hunger gets the best of me.

The only suggestion I didn't think of already was to eat half of my supper and put the other half away--with the understanding that I was fully allowed to eat it later, since I would have normally eaten it anyway, but I didn't have to eat it if I wasn't hungry. It's really not a bad idea and I may try it sometime.

I kept repeating myself over and over and it's like nobody understands--most of my problems will be solved when I have restriction. Hunger and portion sizes are my problem, it's usually not about the quality of what I put in my mouth. I haven't had fast food in almost 5 months, but my weight keeps bobbing up and down, no major loss. I can eat as healthy as possible, but if I'm eating 2-3x more than I should be, it doesn't matter if one serving was only 200 calories, because now I just ate 600.

At least my program coordinator understood that restriction really will be the best solution for me and that it's not necessarily anything I'm doing wrong. She reminded me again after the meeting to get a really big fill this time, she even half-joked that she wants one so big that I can't swallow the next day.

So anyway, I'm not sure what my feelings on the support group are. It's good to stay on the coordinator's good side for when I have problems getting fills, but I'm really not getting much of a benefit from it. It's nice to be around other people who had surgery, but nobody in the group is really going through exactly what I am with trying to get restriction. LBT is probably still my best resource for that. I'll go to the next few groups, but I may taper off eventually, we'll see how I'm doing after my next fill.

My walk actually kicked my ass today! I think I may be trying too much at once--walking with intervals of speed walking, carrying the weights and doing organized reps here and there. I haven't been this sore right after a walk in awhile. It felt good though, because I feel like I got a good workout. Me and Lily Allen--still going strong :)