FOOD.

For the most part, I've been really good about walking more and trying to exercise every day. Of course, the exercise led to tendonitis in my ankle, in which my doctor told me to take a week of the Wii (I only took a few days off since then, I didn't want to stop).

That being said, I still can't seem to get a good handle on my eating. Last week, I gained 3 lbs back up to 394. This week, I did manage to lose 1 pound, so 393 now. However, this still only puts me at -4 lbs since the beginning of the year, and that is unacceptable to me.

On Valentine's Day, we went to a nice restaurant but the food wasn't that great, so even though I was full, I just wasn't mentally satisfied and I wanted dessert. We ended up just getting shakes at McDonald's, and my husband agreed that it was okay since it was a special occasion. Then that special occasion led to me going through McD's again for a shake the next day. I had to put the brakes on that train FAST, because shakes are one of the big reasons I gained so much weight last summer/fall. I also did badly the week before and had 2 boxes (8 cookies each) of Mrs. Fields cookies over a few days.

At least my ravenous eating due to birth control shot has been subdued, but I just can't seem to eat reasonable portions and avoid the junk. I had some soda this weekend, too.

Ugh. I know I can be a clumsy person, but why do I keep falling off this damn wagon?

This Can't Be Easy, Can It?

I was supposed to get my birth control shot this morning, which would get rid of this awful bottomless pit of a stomach I have lately. I showed up to the office even 30 mins early to do paperwork, and they told me that she was working in another location today, didn't anyone tell me? Yeah...they told me she would be at THIS location. So I had to reschedule for Thursday. I don't know if I can handle the constant hunger much longer!

Checking In

So...no weight loss this week (possibly even gained 1 pound, the scale wouldn't decide between the two). I'm not upset about it this time, because it was kind of expected, for a few reasons. While I still physically worked hard, those chips and dip I mentioned in my last post got the best of me for a few days, and I had some sweets throughout the week, including a slice of cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory today (after an already big meal).

The other reason is that I'm due for my Depo-Provera birth control shot, which I get on Monday. I think I've talked about this before, but just a quick refresh, every 3 months I get this shot, and for a few weeks around my "window" to get it, my hormones start acting up and I'm usually hungry all the time, regardless of my band. This week was no exception. For awhile I actually thought something was wrong, maybe the saline didn't actually get into the band or something during my fill (since it was done in the office and not under flouro), but then I realized what was going on. So for now, I'm withholding judgement about my fill until at least a few days after my shot so I can give it a fair chance before declaring failure.

I know I let my eating get the best of me this again week, and it's something I really need to work on. My new mantra hasn't been working out too well for me - "Don't trade what you want most for what you want at the moment." Food is one of those instantly gratifying things that it's hard for me to say no to.

I've been watching this new show called "Heavy" on A&E (Mondays at 10 PM EST) that every week, it shows 2 people who participate in a 6-month weight loss program. The first month is spent at a weight loss facility, the last 5 months are spent at home with a personal trainer. I like it better than the Biggest Loser because there's no competition in it. But anyway, one of the participants reminded me that unlike drugs and alcohol, food addictions are harder to deal with because you still need to eat. Ain't it the truth.