Mushy Stage Tomorrow!

I had my surgery exactly 1 week ago today. Most of the pain is gone, thankfully, my incisions are starting to bother me a little bit, though. Also, I got these three mystery bruises about 6 inches directly under 3 of my incisions. Why am I bruising there? There's no reason for it. I still have to sleep on my back most of the night, though I can sleep on my side for short periods of time. Still can't sleep on my stomach and it's killing me. Other than that, I'm doing okay physically.

Mentally, however...

I've regretted getting my band so many times this week that it's making me resentful. I hate my liquid diet. It was pretty easy for me until about Tuesday night, when I felt hunger for the first time since the surgery. Now I'm just mad about it. I still didn't cheat, though. I followed the liquid diet to the letter. I made the mistake of going to the grocery store last night and I was so upset that I wanted to cry last night when I was trying to decide what liquid to have for dinner.

I never realized how hard this is going to be for me. It's not just a matter of eating less. When I see commercials for restaurants and food, my head still thinks the same way as before the Band. Example: Dairy Queen was advertising 99 cent hot dogs. I imagined going there and still ordering like 4 of them, and that's not something I'll be able to do. It will be hard for me to accept that the MAXIMUM amount of food I'll ever eat at a time again in my life is 1 cup. According to the diet my program goes by, the maximum I should ever have is 5 ounces, which is a little over half a cup. After spending a lifetime overeating, it's hard to imagine and hard to accept. I love food, and that's how I got to be this big.

Anyway, I am VERY excited to start my mushy phase tomorrow, even though it will last for 3 weeks...but at least I'll have more options than with the liquid diet. I already have my menu planned out for tomorrow (following the quantities for my program):

Breakfast
1 Tbsp scrambled egg
1 Tbsp corned beef hash

Lunch
1 1/2 Tbsp pureed roast beef/gravy
2 Tbsp mashed potato
2 Tbsp mango baby food (I didn't want to puree my own fruit or veggies)

Supper
1 1/2 Tbsp refried beans
2 Tbsp salsa (probably less since there's less beans)
2 Tbsp mango or applesauce

I'm soooo looking forward to it!