Liquid Diet...Day 4

I promised both myself and my fiance that I would not lie while going through this process. I spent most of my life lying to my mother about what I have eaten and constantly hiding and sneaking food. I started my liquid diet on Thursday, and now I understand "head hunger" better than ever. Originally, I was going to do 2 protein shakes and a small meal each day. Then I decided to do the all liquid diet (allowing myself one light yogurt per day with it) because most people have to do it anyway and I really want to drop some weight before the surgery.

So...did I keep with it? I'm on Day 4, and I failed 4 days. Not horribly, mind you (well maybe Friday). This is what I ate OUTSIDE of the protein shakes and my 1 yogurt:

Thursday: super hungry, decided with fiance that I wanted to go back to 2 shakes, 1 meal. Had my one meal of a Homestyle Bakes Chicken Fried Rice, which wasn't fried at all, so it wasn't too bad, and 1 sugar-free Klondike ice cream sandwich.

Friday: I decided I wanted to go back to just shakes because I was afraid of not losing weight with the meals. What did I do after work? I stopped at Wendy's on the way home, a chicken club sandwich and a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger. I wasn't even that hungry all day, it was ALL head hunger. I just wanted to eat. Later that night, I ate a small frozen pizza (thin crust) and half of a ham and ricotta calzone. Now I don't feel so bad though, I just looked up the nutritional info and I still only ate about 1600 or 1700 calories, so I guess it's not a complete sabotage. I felt so guilty though that I swore I would keep with the diet.

Saturday: I didn't do too bad! I wasn't very hungry, but I did give in to head hunger and had a sugar-free Klondike Crunch ice cream bar, and I did that instead of eating something much worse for me. Still not as good as I wanted though.

Sunday: Since I did so well yesterday, I thought I would do perfectly today. I had Chinese in my mind all morning though. Thankfully, after dropping Matt off at work, the Chinese place was still closed, so I went straight home. But then, I had 4 boneless buffalo wings and some leftover chicken and rice--and I couldn't finish it all, so that's a plus. But, I also had a few Pocky sticks, which are basically these really thin buscuit sticks dipped in chocolate. I did stop myself though, I could have eaten a whole box of them but I only ate 2 out of the 7 little packs in the box. I think it's harder for me to focus when Matt isn't home because it's easier to cheat, which was Friday night, yesterday, and today. This week he will be home every night, and I can't cheat at all at work because my coworkers all know I'm on the diet. I hate making promises now because I keep breaking them, but this week I am going to try try try to stick with it.

Besides the diet, I spoke with my pulminologist about the sleep study. He said even if I would require a CPAP, I wouldn't need to get one for the surgery itself because they have all the equipment at the hospital. And I wouldn't buy one AFTER the surgery, so I'm all good. If I have to live with it for one night after my surgery, I don't mind.

Pray for me!