HOLY MOLY!! I miss you all!!!!
13 years ago
Monday, February 7, 2011
This Can't Be Easy, Can It?
I was supposed to get my birth control shot this morning, which would get rid of this awful bottomless pit of a stomach I have lately. I showed up to the office even 30 mins early to do paperwork, and they told me that she was working in another location today, didn't anyone tell me? Yeah...they told me she would be at THIS location. So I had to reschedule for Thursday. I don't know if I can handle the constant hunger much longer!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Checking In
So...no weight loss this week (possibly even gained 1 pound, the scale wouldn't decide between the two). I'm not upset about it this time, because it was kind of expected, for a few reasons. While I still physically worked hard, those chips and dip I mentioned in my last post got the best of me for a few days, and I had some sweets throughout the week, including a slice of cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory today (after an already big meal).
The other reason is that I'm due for my Depo-Provera birth control shot, which I get on Monday. I think I've talked about this before, but just a quick refresh, every 3 months I get this shot, and for a few weeks around my "window" to get it, my hormones start acting up and I'm usually hungry all the time, regardless of my band. This week was no exception. For awhile I actually thought something was wrong, maybe the saline didn't actually get into the band or something during my fill (since it was done in the office and not under flouro), but then I realized what was going on. So for now, I'm withholding judgement about my fill until at least a few days after my shot so I can give it a fair chance before declaring failure.
I know I let my eating get the best of me this again week, and it's something I really need to work on. My new mantra hasn't been working out too well for me - "Don't trade what you want most for what you want at the moment." Food is one of those instantly gratifying things that it's hard for me to say no to.
I've been watching this new show called "Heavy" on A&E (Mondays at 10 PM EST) that every week, it shows 2 people who participate in a 6-month weight loss program. The first month is spent at a weight loss facility, the last 5 months are spent at home with a personal trainer. I like it better than the Biggest Loser because there's no competition in it. But anyway, one of the participants reminded me that unlike drugs and alcohol, food addictions are harder to deal with because you still need to eat. Ain't it the truth.
The other reason is that I'm due for my Depo-Provera birth control shot, which I get on Monday. I think I've talked about this before, but just a quick refresh, every 3 months I get this shot, and for a few weeks around my "window" to get it, my hormones start acting up and I'm usually hungry all the time, regardless of my band. This week was no exception. For awhile I actually thought something was wrong, maybe the saline didn't actually get into the band or something during my fill (since it was done in the office and not under flouro), but then I realized what was going on. So for now, I'm withholding judgement about my fill until at least a few days after my shot so I can give it a fair chance before declaring failure.
I know I let my eating get the best of me this again week, and it's something I really need to work on. My new mantra hasn't been working out too well for me - "Don't trade what you want most for what you want at the moment." Food is one of those instantly gratifying things that it's hard for me to say no to.
I've been watching this new show called "Heavy" on A&E (Mondays at 10 PM EST) that every week, it shows 2 people who participate in a 6-month weight loss program. The first month is spent at a weight loss facility, the last 5 months are spent at home with a personal trainer. I like it better than the Biggest Loser because there's no competition in it. But anyway, one of the participants reminded me that unlike drugs and alcohol, food addictions are harder to deal with because you still need to eat. Ain't it the truth.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Disappointment
My fill is doing okay so far, if I would stop eating past when I feel full *sigh*. I always have problems with wanting to eat more than I need to.
I worked out every single day last week for at least 45 minutes, sometimes more (like 2 hours Saturday, 3 hours yesterday...). Saturday I weighed myself, and I lost 1 single pound. Yep, just 1. After that I just sat in bed for about 15 minutes being pissed off and ready to give up. I worked REALLY hard last week and had nothing to show for it.
But unfortunately, I can't give up. 391 lbs is NOT an okay weight to stay at.
My biggest trigger food is chips and dip. I am WELL aware of this. Last week my husband made homemade guacamole after seeing it made at a restaurant a few weeks ago, so we had that with tortilla chips. He wanted to make it again, but I just didn't buy the avocados because I knew what would happen. So what did I do instead? Yesterday, I thought my favorite spinach dip was on sale, so I bought 2 jars of it (ended up not being on sale, but I didn't know until after I paid) and 2 bags of tortilla chips. I sat down and ate about 4/5 of one bag of chips and one jar of dip. I estimated about 1500 calories for that little binge. Trigger food. I just can't keep chips in the house at all or this is what happens, but I don't know when I'm going to learn my lesson. I've been REALLY good about not buying sweets, I don't know why I thought chips were different. Sweets were never really my big problems, it was always eating large portions of "regular" food.
Live and learn, right?
So this morning, I didn't feel like eating anything while at home before I left. I had to run an errand before work and ended up having a little extra time, so I decided to stop at Smoothie King for the first time and see what they had. I decided on a medium "Trim Down" Passion Passport smoothie, no additions. 1. The "medium" is THIRTY-TWO OUNCES (32!!). I figured at best it would be 16 oz. 2. They had no nutritional info posted, but I figured since it was on the "Trim Down" menu, it couldn't be too bad. I looked it up online when I got to work - the medium is 592 calories. Seriously? What else is in this besides ice and fruit? I didn't taste any yogurt or anything in it, so I have no idea how the calories got so inflated. Just another lesson that just because something is diet or light doesn't mean it's really that great.
What a way to start the week so far.
I worked out every single day last week for at least 45 minutes, sometimes more (like 2 hours Saturday, 3 hours yesterday...). Saturday I weighed myself, and I lost 1 single pound. Yep, just 1. After that I just sat in bed for about 15 minutes being pissed off and ready to give up. I worked REALLY hard last week and had nothing to show for it.
But unfortunately, I can't give up. 391 lbs is NOT an okay weight to stay at.
My biggest trigger food is chips and dip. I am WELL aware of this. Last week my husband made homemade guacamole after seeing it made at a restaurant a few weeks ago, so we had that with tortilla chips. He wanted to make it again, but I just didn't buy the avocados because I knew what would happen. So what did I do instead? Yesterday, I thought my favorite spinach dip was on sale, so I bought 2 jars of it (ended up not being on sale, but I didn't know until after I paid) and 2 bags of tortilla chips. I sat down and ate about 4/5 of one bag of chips and one jar of dip. I estimated about 1500 calories for that little binge. Trigger food. I just can't keep chips in the house at all or this is what happens, but I don't know when I'm going to learn my lesson. I've been REALLY good about not buying sweets, I don't know why I thought chips were different. Sweets were never really my big problems, it was always eating large portions of "regular" food.
Live and learn, right?
So this morning, I didn't feel like eating anything while at home before I left. I had to run an errand before work and ended up having a little extra time, so I decided to stop at Smoothie King for the first time and see what they had. I decided on a medium "Trim Down" Passion Passport smoothie, no additions. 1. The "medium" is THIRTY-TWO OUNCES (32!!). I figured at best it would be 16 oz. 2. They had no nutritional info posted, but I figured since it was on the "Trim Down" menu, it couldn't be too bad. I looked it up online when I got to work - the medium is 592 calories. Seriously? What else is in this besides ice and fruit? I didn't taste any yogurt or anything in it, so I have no idea how the calories got so inflated. Just another lesson that just because something is diet or light doesn't mean it's really that great.
What a way to start the week so far.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Soup For Dinner!
Only in crazy LapBand Land would anyone be excited to be on a liquid diet. Because, my friends, that means I got a fill today! My doctor scolded me a little for not calling sooner to find out about a fill, even without insurance paying for it. Either way though, he did it in the office for me, and if this fill isn't enough he'll do another one soon, otherwise, if it's good, another one in 6-8 weeks. He really is a good guy and I'm thankful to have him for my doctor. He even mentioned he could fix the scars from my gallbladder surgery that didn't heal nicely at some point.
After my last fill, I was up to 10.5cc, there was 10 left in there today, and he added 2 more, so up to 12cc now. I better hit a good spot soon, I don't have much room left to work with!
After my last fill, I was up to 10.5cc, there was 10 left in there today, and he added 2 more, so up to 12cc now. I better hit a good spot soon, I don't have much room left to work with!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Peer Pressure
I got up my courage and stepped on the scale this morning. I FINALLY started losing again for the first time since last May - 5 pounds down to 392! I was starting to get discouraged that my improved (not perfect, but better) eating habits and walking more haven't been making a difference. Seeing the weight go down is the best motivation I can have. I'm also glad that it's starting BEFORE I get a fill, to show myself that I CAN do it if I just put my mind to it.
As for this post's title - Peer Pressure - I went and bought a Wii today. There is a large group of people in the fitbit community who play this walking game called Walk It Out and always talk about how addicting it is, how many steps they rack up on it, etc...I just couldn't help myself. Last year, DH and I were trying to decide between the Wii and the Xbox 360. We got the 360, but since the Wii was even a contender, he agreed that it would be worth it if we got the Wii now as well. I picked up the Walk It Out game, a Jillian Michaels game, and they had the Wii Fit (just the game, not the balance board) for $4. I don't know yet if I can use the Wii Fit game without a board, and I don't WANT a board, but I figure for $4, nothing is really lost if I can't use it without one.
Cheers!
As for this post's title - Peer Pressure - I went and bought a Wii today. There is a large group of people in the fitbit community who play this walking game called Walk It Out and always talk about how addicting it is, how many steps they rack up on it, etc...I just couldn't help myself. Last year, DH and I were trying to decide between the Wii and the Xbox 360. We got the 360, but since the Wii was even a contender, he agreed that it would be worth it if we got the Wii now as well. I picked up the Walk It Out game, a Jillian Michaels game, and they had the Wii Fit (just the game, not the balance board) for $4. I don't know yet if I can use the Wii Fit game without a board, and I don't WANT a board, but I figure for $4, nothing is really lost if I can't use it without one.
Cheers!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Why Didn't I Do This Earlier?
I FINALLY called my doctor's office today to find out about fills for self-pay. If it's done in the office, it's $150. That's it. 150 measly dollars. If I had gotten up the courage and found this out, oh, last spring, I wouldn't be 30 pounds heavier right now. I feel like an idiot. I was afraid it would be like $500, which I definitely wouldn't be able to shell out on a regular basis.
Bad news though, my nurse practitioner that I love so much has left my doctor's practice. She works at a hospital now, so I can't even follow her to continue seeing her. The good news is that I already got an appointment with my regular doctor next Tuesday, which is amazing - usually I have to schedule 2-3 weeks out with him because he's so busy. The woman told me that he might be able to do the fill right then, or it might have to wait for another appointment since it's been over a year since my last fill. I'm hoping for it next week, but I have a feeling he'll make me see the dietitian first (hurray, another $75 wasted, since she doesn't tell me anything I don't already know). Maybe I can swing him to just do the fill this time and I'll see her for the next one, since I've already waited so long. We'll see.
In other news, my New Year's Resolutions aren't dead, at least. I haven't been perfect, but I've been doing okay. Here are my new rules:
No fast food - Check! I haven't had fast food at all
No soda - Check! This one is actually easy for me if I just stick to it
No snacks - Not so good at home, been good about this at work, except for the following
No sweets - I haven't BOUGHT any sweets, I've been really good when grocery shopping. My problem is at work, my coworker brings in chocolates and cookies all the time. I've been failing this most days if there are sweets available. It's not huge quantities, for example, yesterday was 2 cookies and 2 chocolates, but it's still a failure.
I think my biggest thing to work on right now is at home - I tend to eat big quantities since I don't have restriction, and if I'm home for long periods of time, I tend to eat almost constantly. When I'm at the computer, I feel the need to eat all the time. I need to redirect that. Not sure how, but I have to figure it out.
Great news though is that my Fitbit is helping in ways I was hoping it would. There is also a REALLY great community for Fitbit users on Facebook, and they have been so supportive. Since it logs my steps for the day, I have been setting goals. I also have it set up so that my daily totals post automatically to Facebook, so people can see them and it holds me accountable if I don't reach my goal, because then it's not just me who knows, it's everyone! My goal last week was 5,000 steps a day, and I reached it every day except one (I was 150 steps short; we had a last minute change of plans to have dinner and a movie, which I couldn't get up and move around like I wanted to). This week's goal is 6,000/day, and I hit it both Sunday and yesterday so far. I plan to increase my goal 1,000/day each week until I get to 10,000, which is the recommended number of steps for health.
This is really good because it's encouraging me to move around more than I would normally. Right now I'm working on getting up and walking around in the hallways once an hour at work. At home, I walk in place or pace back and forth to reach my goal for the day. I know I will need to start exercising again to reach the higher goals, and increased movement is gearing me up for it.
So with the Fitbit and a fill in the near future, I think this year will be MUCH better than the last.
Oh, and one more thing: I joined some of my high school friends in a group for the Biggest Loser Pound for Pound Challenge - my goal is to lose 30 pounds by the end of May. It's a lower goal than I would normally set, but I haven't been very good about keeping goals, so I'm trying something new; set a lower goal and hope to ACTUALLY reach it.
Bad news though, my nurse practitioner that I love so much has left my doctor's practice. She works at a hospital now, so I can't even follow her to continue seeing her. The good news is that I already got an appointment with my regular doctor next Tuesday, which is amazing - usually I have to schedule 2-3 weeks out with him because he's so busy. The woman told me that he might be able to do the fill right then, or it might have to wait for another appointment since it's been over a year since my last fill. I'm hoping for it next week, but I have a feeling he'll make me see the dietitian first (hurray, another $75 wasted, since she doesn't tell me anything I don't already know). Maybe I can swing him to just do the fill this time and I'll see her for the next one, since I've already waited so long. We'll see.
In other news, my New Year's Resolutions aren't dead, at least. I haven't been perfect, but I've been doing okay. Here are my new rules:
No fast food - Check! I haven't had fast food at all
No soda - Check! This one is actually easy for me if I just stick to it
No snacks - Not so good at home, been good about this at work, except for the following
No sweets - I haven't BOUGHT any sweets, I've been really good when grocery shopping. My problem is at work, my coworker brings in chocolates and cookies all the time. I've been failing this most days if there are sweets available. It's not huge quantities, for example, yesterday was 2 cookies and 2 chocolates, but it's still a failure.
I think my biggest thing to work on right now is at home - I tend to eat big quantities since I don't have restriction, and if I'm home for long periods of time, I tend to eat almost constantly. When I'm at the computer, I feel the need to eat all the time. I need to redirect that. Not sure how, but I have to figure it out.
Great news though is that my Fitbit is helping in ways I was hoping it would. There is also a REALLY great community for Fitbit users on Facebook, and they have been so supportive. Since it logs my steps for the day, I have been setting goals. I also have it set up so that my daily totals post automatically to Facebook, so people can see them and it holds me accountable if I don't reach my goal, because then it's not just me who knows, it's everyone! My goal last week was 5,000 steps a day, and I reached it every day except one (I was 150 steps short; we had a last minute change of plans to have dinner and a movie, which I couldn't get up and move around like I wanted to). This week's goal is 6,000/day, and I hit it both Sunday and yesterday so far. I plan to increase my goal 1,000/day each week until I get to 10,000, which is the recommended number of steps for health.
This is really good because it's encouraging me to move around more than I would normally. Right now I'm working on getting up and walking around in the hallways once an hour at work. At home, I walk in place or pace back and forth to reach my goal for the day. I know I will need to start exercising again to reach the higher goals, and increased movement is gearing me up for it.
So with the Fitbit and a fill in the near future, I think this year will be MUCH better than the last.
Oh, and one more thing: I joined some of my high school friends in a group for the Biggest Loser Pound for Pound Challenge - my goal is to lose 30 pounds by the end of May. It's a lower goal than I would normally set, but I haven't been very good about keeping goals, so I'm trying something new; set a lower goal and hope to ACTUALLY reach it.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Merry Christmas To Me!
My wonderful husband gave me a FitBit for Christmas yesterday. I've wanted one for so long, but I just never got off my duff and ordered the $100 thing. I'm still playing with it to get it to record my sleep correctly and figuring out how to get it to stop thinking I'm walking when I'm driving the car, but this will be a very powerful tool for me.
This sounds really bad, but I'm just giving myself until the end of the year (this week) to eat normally, enjoy Christmas cookies, play with our new KitchenAid ice cream maker attachment, etc. We've ALL heard this before, but come New Year's Day, I am fully dedicating myself back to my body. I don't even need a reason anymore, I JUST HAVE TO DO IT!
That's all there is to it, I don't need another long post about it. In the words of many of my fellow Bandsters, it's time to CUT THE CRAP!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
This sounds really bad, but I'm just giving myself until the end of the year (this week) to eat normally, enjoy Christmas cookies, play with our new KitchenAid ice cream maker attachment, etc. We've ALL heard this before, but come New Year's Day, I am fully dedicating myself back to my body. I don't even need a reason anymore, I JUST HAVE TO DO IT!
That's all there is to it, I don't need another long post about it. In the words of many of my fellow Bandsters, it's time to CUT THE CRAP!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
