Anyone Out There? I'm Still Here

Well, you know what it means if I haven't been around. It means nothing good has happened! I have basically hovered around the same weight for a year and a half now. I'm currently at 410, which actually surprised me because I could have sworn I was back up somewhere around my starting weight with how sluggish I feel lately. I think I'm just burnt out though. I haven't had a fill since I last posted. My insurance still doesn't cover it. My company is changing insurances yet again in January, so we'll see if it covers WLS stuff or not this time. I want to see my doctor, but I feel so hopelessly like a failure, and I don't want him to know how poorly I've been doing. I could afford a fill. I keep thinking after I get back down to maybe 380 then I'd go get a fill, but I don't know if I can do it alone. We bought a house this past January, and ever since then, my eating has been an absolute roller coaster. The kitchen in this house is downstairs, away from the rest of the house (bedrooms and living room are upstairs). Several times, I've bought crap food to eat in the office upstairs instead of having to go downstairs and get real food. Chips and dip - HELLO? trigger food! I've also ended up drinking a lot of soda again, which I'm now tapering off. The soda is also related to the kitchen problem, because I don't have easy access to a pitcher of Crystal Light anymore. I've noticed that Crystal Light actually molds if left out too long, so I buy a lot more of the individual packs now. Since we do have a house now, we started fostering cats for a local rescue group. This keeps me so busy that it's just another problem, we eat out a lot now because neither of us have the energy to cook, etc. I'm so tired when I get home at night that I don't want to do anything. I get very little exercise. Anyway, I just felt the need to hold myself accountable and post what's going on. I can't hide forever. Just because I don't tell people about it doesn't mean there isn't a problem.