Yay For Me!

I actually got up this morning and did a workout. I don't know if it was the greatest idea; my body doesn't seem as ready to exercise in the morning. I finished a full mile though (Walk Away The Pounds) and I guess we'll see how I feel throughout the day. Still going to the gym tonight!

Grrr!

I didn't get out of work until about 6:20 tonight...and if you've been following, that means the gym closed at 6 PM and I couldn't get in. I was so proud of myself for going and looking forward to it everyday. Today was incredibly busy and stressful and I was actually hoping I could work out and (strangely) relax from it. Now my neck is achy from staring at the computer in a very tense position and I just don't feel as good physically. I'm going to try to squeeze in a workout tonight here at home with Walk Away The Pounds. I ate right when I got home, so I have to wait awhile before I can work out. If I don't do it tonight, I'll get up early tomorrow and do it. Tomorrow I have another coworker with me so I shouldn't be as busy and get to leave on time and get my ass kicked in the gym.

I'm a little nervous. I had my fill yesterday and I was taking it easy last night and today with food because usually I have pretty good restriction after my fills, even if it's only for a week or so. Tonight I got Chinese food and normally I eat 1 egg roll, a few crabmeat rangoons, and by then I'm already feeling the beginnings of fullness. I eat the broccoli out of my chicken & broccoli (comes with rice), and then I'm usually too full and starting to hurt a bit. I leave the chicken and rice for another meal.

Tonight though...I was able to eat ALL of my chicken, broccoli, AND rice. And I didn't get the painful full feeling at all. I'm getting really nervous that something is wrong. It happens with bandsters that days come that just about anything goes through the band, but I shouldn't be getting that right after a fill. I guess we'll see over the next few days.

You know you're losing weight when...

I got my third fill today of 1 cc, putting me up to 4 ccs in my band (which now my doctor thinks it's a 10 cc band). I asked my doctor about this lump I've been feeling on my left side under my ribs, I said I didn't know where my band actually was or if it moved or something. He felt the lump, looked at me very seriously, and said "That's a rib" and grinned. I haven't felt a rib through my skin in so long, I didn't even know what it was! So that's good news.

I had a protein shake for lunch after my fill and I wasn't too hungry until I got home. I did get to the gym again, and did my "normal" routine for the time being--15 mins on the bike, 5 mins on the elliptical. I felt like I was working different muscles today. Yesterday, my thighs were sore, today it was behind my knees and my calves a bit. My biggest soreness right now when I work out is my feet. I used my older shoes yesterday and today and it helped, I have to break in the new shoes before I can work out in them.

I noticed today that when I get home after working out, I don't complain about work as much as I usually do. It's nice not to feel so grumpy.

I got on the scale again tonight since I didn't eat much today (less food in my body) and went to the bathroom first, back down to 411.6. I'm still frustrated though because that's still a gain from last week and I really don't know how. Oh well. My mini-goal right now is to get under 400 by my birthday, which is April 9. At this rate I don't feel like I'll make it, but I gotta keep trying.

Sore Thighs and Scale Frustration

Yep, I made it to the gym again! I did a full 15 minutes on the bike (at Level 4, pretty good resistance) and 5 minutes on the elliptical. I noticed that these two machines work basically the exact same muscles in my thighs--and they ache right now. I think the 15-5 routine will be good for awhile until my body is ready to do more.

I got on the scale today and I nearly threw it out the window. Last week I was 410.4, and for some reason, I was 414.8 tonight. How? I haven't been eating much crap, I haven't been snacking, the only thing I drink is Crystal Light, and I've worked out the last 3 days in a row. How did I gain almost 4.5 pounds in less than a week? I hope it's just something weird with my scale, because otherwise I'm going to be really ticked if I worked so hard and GAINED weight. Yes, I know that 3 days of 15-20 minutes of exercise isn't going to drop much, but I shouldn't have gained anything, at least. WTF?

I'll weigh in again tomorrow, I think. I have my fill tomorrow too! Hurray for a protein shake for lunch.

Interesting 1st Gym Workout

I did make it to the gym after work tonight. I learned several things:

1. I am REALLY out of shape. I did about 8.5 minutes on the bike and 5 minutes on the elliptical. I would have went longer on the bike but I have brand new gym shoes that aren't broken in yet...my feet were killing me, and it wasn't from my weight or anything. The elliptical, however, just out-and-out kicked my ass. I made myself go the full 5 minutes though, achy feet and all, and could barely walk after I got off! It was GREAT! Yeah, so I only did 13.5 minutes of a workout, but hey, that's 13.5 more minutes than I've done basically in the last few years. And I have every intention of getting my ass kicked again tomorrow night (maybe wearing some different shoes until the other ones get broken in).

2. The gym really does close at 6 PM, and apparently, not only do you need your pass-card to get in, but to get out. First of all, I left my card in my locker, because I didn't think I'd need it. I don't know if the cards are gender-specific or if the women's locker room door locks permanently after 6, but the guy that was left in the room with me tried his card and it didn't work. The men's locker room, however, doesn't lock. So he graciously let me go out through his side and then I had to find a cleaning lady to let me back in to get my stuff. Lesson learned...but I still need to know if I can get back out after 6 PM with my card. Otherwise, I have less than half an hour to work out everynight before it closes. If I can even go until 6:15 (which the guy said he normally does), that would be helpful.

3. Treadmill? Nope, ain't happenin'. I went on it for a few minutes after my love-hate run with the elliptical just to try it out and cool down after my annihilation, and I felt really uncomfortable walking on it, I don't really know how to explain it, but I felt like the belt couldn't keep a steady pace if my feet missed a beat. That's going to have to wait awhile, me thinks.

4. CNN is the WORST channel to watch while working out.

5. I can't wait to go back and do it all again!

I WILL Be Posting More!

I don't know if anyone is still reading this because of my lack of updates. What happened is that when I started this blog, I had full internet access at work and could post during downtime. A few months after my surgery, my department had web access turned off (when everyone else still gets it...but that's another story that I won't go into). Sooo...I just tend to forget to update here when I get home and I'm tired and usually cranky. Plus, for the longest time I wasn't losing weight, couldn't get fills, and really wasn't doing much about diet and exercise, so I didn't have much to talk about. I have several things to share though and I think my blog will be getting more use because of them.

1) My lowest weight now has gotten down to 408 (36 pounds). I went from 414 to 408 in less than a week by doing what I should have been doing all along: no snacking, no eating after dinner (I was getting into bad habits with my husband of eating a snack at 11 or 12 at night), and no sugary drinks (I admit, I was having soda here and there, but after my last fill it's uncomfortable to drink it anyway, so that's over with, kaput). 6 pounds gone just by using my head. Then I had a bad weekend, ate too much crap, and I'm back up to 410 (I'm keeping my progress bar at 408 because I have every intention of losing it again--I'll change it if I DON'T go back down in the next week or two).

2) I had a breakthrough. I haven't had ANY fast food in 2009 so far. I've been proud of myself for it. It hasn't really made a difference in losing weight, but just knowing that I have been avoiding it makes me feel great. But here is the breakthrough: McD's has fish filets for 2 for $3 in lent. I LOVE their fish filets. One night last week, I was taking my husband to work and I hadn't eaten dinner yet. I told him I was thinking about getting the fish filets. I even told them that one was 380 calories, not awful, but that I would most likely get 2, which pushes it up to 760. Wow. I love my husband to death and he's been VERY supportive of me, but he hates hates hates seeing me miserable, especially when I really want to eat something and beat myself up trying to resist. So the best thing he could come up with is if I get McD's, I had to get him something too. Uh, how is that supposed to deter me? I actually got as far as the McD's drive-thru lane. I saw about 10 cars in line, told myself that neither the line, nor the calories, were worth it, and went straight home. Then I worked out and made a full meal for myself out of baked fish and green beans. I even got interrupted with a phone call halfway through my workout, and by the time I got off the phone, dinner was ready. So I ate, and 2 hours later, I finished my workout.

I felt AWESOME for having make so many good choices in one night, and, to be sappy and cliche, it made me feel that maybe I CAN make this a life change.

3) I have another fill this Wednesday, March 25. It was like pulling teeth to get the office to schedule it, because they (meaning the office staff) don't like to do fills more than every 3 months to avoid the insurance rejecting a claim if they are given too often (which I haven't heard of on LBT, but I need to do some more research). However, when I asked my doctor how often I could get a fill, he told me as often as I need to, whether it be one month or six months from now. He did not mention any restriction on how often I could get one. For this reason, after this fill and due to better insurance benefits now, I think I may finally look into the NYU program. I would have to pay like $325 for the dietician if I switch to their program, but I'll see if I can get it waived or something, because I already have all the nutritional info I need (even if I don't necessarily follow it--I know what I SHOULD be doing) and I really don't think I would be using her.

4) I've been exercising! And I'm excited to keep going! I've been doing Walk Away The Pounds, and even though I've only done it 3 times in the last week and a half, it's a start. The problem is that I want to do it when I get home from work, right before dinner, and I don't have a lot of restriction going on now so I've either been starving when I get home and can't wait another half hour to eat, or I get out of work late and dinner's already been waiting and I'm even hungrier. I'm not making excuses, I take full responsibility for it. I know that if I eat first, I can just wait 1.5 - 2 hours and I can work out then. Buuut, by then, I'm too tired or just not in the mood to work out after I've been relaxing.

So:

Tomorrow (and I've put this off for a week), I'm going to start using the gym in my office building after work. I've been putting off using the gym because the last time I lost weight by working out, I was at the heaviest 340 pounds and from what I've read, most equipment is only meant to withstand 350-375 pounds max. I'm really really afraid that the machines just can't support me yet. I will probably avoid the treadmill for awhile because of that. I've always been terrified when treadmills "skip" a little bit and I feel like I'm going to take a huge fall, and I don't know what to expect of a treadmill at this weight. But that's okay, because I can walk outside now that it's getting nice, or just do my Walk Away The Pounds for now.

I'm going to try to keep the blog updated with what I do when I exercise, be a little more accountable for what I'm putting in my mouth, and hopefully I'll get to share more and more good news with you all in the next few weeks!

Biggest Loser Pound-For-Pound Challenge

I've been watching The Biggest Loser religiously this season. Right now they are doing this Pound-For-Pound Challenge, which people pledge to lose a certain amount of weight by the end of the event (May 5th--and you can't pledge more than what would be 2 pounds per week) and the sponsors will donate 1 pound of food for every pound lost by the people who enter. Since I didn't get around to entering until this week, my pledge is 20 pounds. I think that's a very realistic goal for 2 months.

BUT...

My weight loss has stopped again after my fill (and rebounded back up to about 413). I will be scheduling my next fill probably tomorrow, but also I REALLY need to start exercising. I haven't been keeping track of my calories, but I know that I eat less than 2,000 a day, and according to several websites that tell you how many calories you need to eat to lose such and such amount of weight, to MAINTAIN my current weight is like 4,000 calories a day! So how come I'm not losing anything when I'm eating half that at least? So I'm thinking exercise is going to have to start, which I was hoping to wait until I was back down to about 300, where the machines are a little more sturdy for my weight.