Slowly But Surely

Last time I posted (3 weeks ago), I had lost 8 pounds. The next week, I had gained 3 back because I was eating TONS of cookies and sweets and stuff. I didn't get a chance to weigh myself last week, but this week, I lost 5 pounds again, so a net loss of two more pounds. I'm down to 380 and I've lost 64 pounds total so far. It seems like so much weight but I still can't really tell a difference. I have so much extra skin that in my torso, I'm losing weight especially in the area under my bust, like the area where my natural waist should be. The problem is that as I'm losing weight, the loose fat is sinking down more around my lower stomach so that I look like I'm actually bigger there. I don't like that side effect at ALL. It means that none of my clothes still really fit any differently. Oh well, eventually it will all shrink down as I lose more.

I have started trying to get more involved in my eating problems though. One of the blogs I read, Fatty Fights Back, has been talking about this book called The Rules of "Normal" Eating. Since DH works at a bookstore, I picked it up. I think it's exactly what I need. It's not a diet book, it's all about how "normal" people eat, when they know to stop eating, when they're actually hungry, things like that. You know, the stuff that is COMPLETELY dysfunctional with me. It's actually written for both under-eaters AND over-eaters, so I like that the focus isn't about losing weight, it's about paying attention to what your body really needs.

I'm only in the second chapter of the book, but I've already learned some important distinctions, the biggest so far being FULL vs. SATISFIED. Full means you have had enough food and you no longer feel hungry. Satisfied means that you feel like you've had enough of a certain taste. You can feel any combination of these two. I think MY personal problem, especially with the Lap-Band, is feeling full without feeling satisfied. My stomach doesn't need (nor really can handle) more food, but I really want to eat more of it. This is where I get myself into trouble, because I could be truly full from just a few bites of food sometimes, but I really like the food so I keep eating and pushing food through the band to make more room. I think this might be a sign I might need a fill though, since the food DOES go through the band when more food is pushed in, instead of me just getting sick and PBing.

The only aspect of the book I don't like and don't need is that it also has a very strong angle about emotional eating, since that is what drives a lot of people to overeat. I have thought about this issue long and hard and after several discussions about it, I really am NOT an emotional eater. The only "emotion" I ever eat because of is boredom, and I don't consider that as part of emotional eating. It's okay though, because the rest of this book is so valuable to me that I still feel like it is worth it for me to read.

In other news, the weather is slowly coming out of winter. It's been in the 40s and 50s most of the week (pushing 60 some days!) and Daylight Savings begins tomorrow, which means soon I will be able to go walking again after work. I've been waiting for this for awhile, my body is ready to exercise again! Plus I have the Run for the Wild 5K to get ready for in April :)